Monday, October 15, 2007

What If Dick Cheney Were Right?

Tehran, Iran

“Man, the McDonald's downtown is always mcmobbed!” James said, driving his SUV, which ran on a hybrid of straight oil and coal, up and down the same crowded street looking for a parking spot that did not require him or his cousin to walk.

“And overwhelmed with all those Jehovah’s Witnesses!” added Rick, who was born Ali Muhammad El-Sheem.

“Religious freedom is great!”

“Yessiree, and thank Jesus the strip clubs will all soon be closed and just in time for summer! I love summer. 134 degrees of fun, and the nuclear fallout is actually great for my skin!"

“Yes, you have a certain glow.”

“Well, Ahmadinejad would be proud. They’ve finally tagged all the gays.”

“It was smart to make the tag so fabulous. The gays practically danced right into them. But I wouldn’t say they’ve tagged them all. What about America's Vice-President Ryan Seacrest?”

“C’mon, that guy loves pussy. Simon was the fag.”

“And an intellectual. I heard he actually believed Global Warming was man made. So ridiculous. We still have plenty of the polar ice cap and have to suffer none of that Limey's ridicule of very Christian singers. Good riddance, Simon !” James spits out of his window killing a midget.

“Man, forget this. Let’s try Wienerschnitzel. They have corn dog made with Crispy Cream donuts.”

“Freedom is so fucking rad.”

For more on Dick Cheney watch Frontline's Cheney's Law.