Tom Cruise in "The Merchant of Chaos"

In what is sure to be the story of the weekend, our hero is continuing to play the sympathy card by describing just how crazy he's going to be to his new baby as his future wife wisely sits in a stunned smile.

If he is right and he is crusading for humanity, can you imagine how pissed Xenu is at him? And almost every blog on the earth is just a tool of the evil Xenu!

Actually, I'd be more down with the Scientology if they wanted to ban parents instead of psychiatry. That to me is the more fun parody/science-fictionesque cause to advocate.