How to Be Funny Like a Jew

There’s a basic structure to most jokes: Setup, punchline, act-out.

Here’s how to use that structure in inappropriate places:

Checking out at Trader Joe’s yesterday, the cashier said to me, “How are you?”

“Do you ever realize you’ve gotten into a habit that’s going to get you into trouble in certain places? Like whenever my friends ask, ‘How are you?’ I say, ‘Drunk as fuck!’”

She nodded and smiled.

I then said, “Drunk as fuck!” over and over again in a very drunken way.
That’s the act-out.


A good name for a planet in a Sci-Fi movie would be Horowitz. Named after the first Jew who complained about it.


A good trend in naming pets would be very Jewy names, like Neil, Eli, Shlomo, Yitzak.