Goodbye Artie Lange?
Artie Lange Quits The Howard Stern Show
How Would You Like to Be Artie Lange's New Assistant?
I have a tendency to side with any articulate, hilarious and bloated bully who eventually gets his comeuppance, but there are so many reasons I love Artie Lange. (The basics: he's a rare triple threat, like the Willie Mays of comedy. Good impressionist, as quick in character as any improv fag and a terror with the punch-lines.) I'd hate for anyone to think that his rampant homophobia, honesty and drug use are the only reasons that news of his departure makes me apoplectic.
But the good news is that there's a 90% chance he'll be back. 45% chance that this was actually staged; 45% chance that it really happened and cooler heads will prevail.
If he doesn't come back, people propose that a Greg Fitzsimmons or a Reverend Bob Levy could replace him. That's like replacing Sammy Hagar with Gary Cherone. You'd need a Dave Attell to even come close to what Artie offers.