Reasons to Divorce Paul Cartney

1. His womanly face
2. You hate billionaires
3. Won't let you wear headscarf
4. You want to move to LA to pursue your acting career
5. Even George put out better solo albums than him in the 80s
6. He tried to bronze your fake leg
7. He's taken to faxing jokes to the Leno show
8. Smells like a rental car
9. Gets skid marks on his bandannas